Before We Begin — A Gentle Warning
Reader beware: this post may stir up emotions. I wrote it after being triggered by an article, and if it brings something up for you, I invite you to explore why.
I don’t claim to have the “right” answers—only my own perspective. I hope it sparks reflection and conversation. I would love to hear your thoughts.
The Post That Sparked a Deep Dive
The other morning, while scrolling through WordPress, I found a response to an article about motherhood. The writer claimed—pretty directly—that mothers love their children more deeply than fathers do.
I’m not here to debate mothers vs. fathers. I don’t believe love can be measured like that. What I am here to explore is this:
What does it truly mean to be a parent?
Parenting in a World Overflowing with Advice
There are entire genres of music dedicated to bad parenting. Shelves of books offering the “best” methods. Industries built around helping parents raise better children.
With all this research and guidance… shouldn’t we have this figured out by now?
Reflection Question:
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by parenting advice? How do you decide what to follow?
A Personal Catalyst: My Daughter Is Growing Up
My daughter is about to graduate high school and go off to college. This milestone cracked me open emotionally and sent me spiraling with questions:
- Is she ready?
- Did I prepare her well enough?
- Am I ready for this new chapter?
- How will our relationship change?
I became a parent at 20—before I had fully learned how to guide myself. With no real parental role models, I often felt like I was parenting in the dark.
Engaging Question:
If you’re a parent, what’s one thing you wish you knew earlier?
The Weight of “What I Should Have Done Differently”
If given the chance, I’d do many things differently. Most parents feel this way. The guilt has been heavy at times—almost crushing.
But the love I have for my daughter keeps me learning, healing, and growing.
So what does it mean to be a good parent?
Lesson One: Never Criticize, Condemn, or Complain
One of the most powerful parenting lessons I’ve read appears in Father Forgets by W. Livingston Larned, referenced in Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People.
A father spends the day criticizing his son, only to be consumed with regret as he watches him sleep—soft, innocent, small. He vows to do better. To show empathy. Gentleness. Humanity.
This is one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn.
Lesson Two: Do Not Project Your Life Onto Your Child
“The heaviest burden for a child is the unlived lives of its parents.”
— Carl Jung
This quote hit especially hard.
Parents often project their past regrets or unfulfilled dreams onto their children—sometimes without realizing it. Grandparents do this too in an attempt to “redo” parenting.
Reflection Question:
Have you ever caught yourself projecting your past or your dreams onto a child?
So, What’s the Moral Here?
Parenting is beautiful, messy, exhausting, joyful, and impossibly hard. No one gets it right all the time. Most of us wish we could rewrite at least a few chapters.
But through this process we grow:
- Wiser
- Softer
- More empathetic
I’ve learned to see my parents’ mistakes through compassion. I’ve learned to forgive myself. And I’ve learned to release judgment of myself and others.
A Closing Question for You
What has parenting—or being parented—taught you about love, forgiveness, or being human?
Insight exchange 
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